The proper way to warm up an engine and de-ice a vehicle is to go out a half-hour to 45 minutes before you need to leave, start the engine, and leave it idling while you go inside and finish a cup of coffee.
The IMproper way to warm an engine and de-ice a vehicle is to go out at 4:30 in the morning, start the engine, and stand on the accelerator, get out and leave your engine idling while you whack the shit out of every flat surface on your vehicle with an ice scraper, then get back in and stand on the accelerator again -- waking your neighbors, their out-of-state relatives, and perhaps even Helen Keller in the process. I sincerely doubt that Satan himself could be such a douche.
The lingering frustration from this petty annoyance is compounded when you give up, presumably frustrated because you don't know how to properly warm an engine and de-ice a car, shut your car off, and then come out at 5:15 and do the SAME DAMN THING!
If there were some way to tell from the warmth of my nice, comfortable bed which neighbor you are and which vehicle was yours it would have been quite possible for you to find a .22 short through at least one tire and perhaps even yourself.
It is now 6:00AM, and down the block I hear a neighbor gently, quietly scraping away at the ice with an ice scraper (and a gently idling engine). Perhaps you could learn something from this neighbor. Or, if you're interested in stopping by my house, I could gladly teach you the proper method. Following, of course, a punch in the face and a boot to the genitalia.
Sunset Lake, Otter Lake, Carlinville Lake, Lake Springfield, and Lake Lou Yeager are all available for you to go jump in. Please do so before Thursday, when the ice will thicken to the point where it will support your weight.
Sincerely,
A formerly friendly neighbor.
Wow that’s quite a vitriolic response to a common situation. BTW your suggested method of warming up and clearing off could actually get you a ticket. SEE: 625 ILCS 5/11-1401 Unattended motor vehicles. No person driving or in charge of a motor vehicle shall permit it to stand unattended without first stopping the engine, locking the ignition, removing the key from the ignition, effectively setting the brake thereon and, when standing upon any perceptible grade, turning the front wheels to the curb or side of the highway.
ReplyDeleteAlso if that car gets stolen and your insurance company finds out that you left it running you could be subject to policy cancelation which means you get nothing from them.
Perhaps you should try meditating to relieve your anger instead. Just saying. :)