This man will self-destruct in ten....nine....eight...

In addition to numerous overt talents in my life... I've discovered the hidden one. I'm an expert "ruiner."

I'm a master of the art of messing up perfectly good things. Dishes... electronics... friendships... marriages... it doesn't matter. I have no setting for "content." I keep fixing things that aren't broken until, alas, they are.

I don't get it. I know other people do this, so it can't just be me. But what is it in the psyche that causes it? Why don't I just take things as they are?

I don't get me. I'm a mass of contradictions. I'm self-loathing and cocky. I'm laid-back, but I'm never content. What the hell is wrong with me?

My parents, when pissed at me as a child, would tell me "It's because of you that we just can't have nice things."

I think they're on to something.

Hey, I started a blog... again....

Well, it was suggested to me that I should try blogging again. I really don't know why. I've had several blogs in the past, and none of them managed to endure all that well. For someone who calls himself a writer, I have a really hard time keeping at it with any degree of regularity. I need some kind of Metamucil for writers.

For lack of a better title (why do I always suck at titles?), I'm calling this blog "McRandomnessivity." Of course, at the core, is "RANDOM." I know going in that this is going to be a totally haphazard collection of thoughts, rants, raves, and lunacy. "-nessivity" hints at how many words are going to be unnecessarily sacrificed herein. And, like all pointless products designed for mass consumption, I added the prefix "Mc-."

So, here I sit, in a cigar shop in Springfield, working on my first post for my new blog, all the while arguing politics on Facebook and half-listening to SportsCenter, and it occurs to me just how boring I am.

That's it for now. Hopefully I'll find some inspiration soon.